Old Age Is A Gift

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!

FRIENDS FOREVER!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Mental Feng Shui

I received the following message from a friend.

"This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. There's some mighty fine advice in these words.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all
you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Thought For The Day Regarding Time

I read the following on the email of a colleague this morning. I think it says a lot!

"If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?"

What are your thoughts?

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

We Need More Unity In Our Industry....

I read a post on another website, that read like this: "How many are attending the convention? I am not, and have heard attendance will be lower than usuall. I wonder why? We need more unity in our industry."

Yes, we do need more unity in our industry. I think it is worth analysis that the monument industry is seriously fragmented.

There are two major groups of monument builders: those who belong to the Monument Builders of North America, and those who do not belong to MBNA.

Of course there are those who are diehard members and another group who are only lukewarm members. The same is true for those who do not belong to MBNA. There is one group who are adamant they will never be members again, and many others who are not members but who may we willing to join if approached in the right way.

There is a significant group of monument builders who refuse to join MBNA and the organization has done an ineffective job at recruiting and managing relationships with monument builders. I hope this can someday change for the sake of both MBNA as an organization and for the industry as a whole.

What are your thoughts?

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

MBNA, Consumer Advocacy & Carolyn Jacobi

Every month, the Monument Builders of North America publishes a glossy trade magazine with a "Consumer Advocacy Update" from Carolyn Jacobi.

Ms. Jacobi's writes in the conclusion of her column:

• "If this movement fails, it is because you elected to let it fail. Failure is an event and a person. There are many reasons for failures. Some of them are a lack of faith and motivation, limited self-image, complacency, insincerity, failure to plan and follow the plan, and trying to function as an individual rather than a part of a team."

With one pronouncement, Ms. Jacobi has expounded a lot of thoughts for MBNA's membership to reflect upon. MBNA, like most organizations, is often its own worst enemy, alienating now former members who decided to spend their money elsewhere.

Personally, I believe monument builders need an effective national trade association, and MBNA is, like-it-or-not, effectively that association.

MBNA needs to select folks as officers and district trustees who have a background of leadership and major accomplishments who actually know how to produce results if it wants to expand its membership and influence on a national scale.

Do I want to see the monument industry grow and prosper? Of course I do. MBNA has a lot of politics and it is ineffective in ways that it could be effective. For the sake of the industry, it needs to do more on the national and state levels to improve relationships with monument builders.

I invite you to reread Carolyn Jacobi's remarks and then think about your own contributions to the monument industry.

• "If this movement fails, it is because you elected to let it fail. Failure is an event and a person. There are many reasons for failures. Some of them are a lack of faith and motivation, limited self-image, complacency, insincerity, failure to plan and follow the plan, and trying to function as an individual rather than a part of a team."

I encourage you to join MBNA and other trade associations, and to contribute to the monument industry in whatever way you can.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

If Not Death-Care Industry, What Term Would You Use?

I commence this post with the question, "If not 'death-care industry', what term would you use?"

I recall a segment (Season 2, Episode 15, I believe) on "Six-Feet Under" a terrific program produced by HBO Entertainment, that had a discussion between Nate Fisher and the evil corporate representative from Kroehner, a fictitiously named company, typical of the large corporations that are gobbling up funeral homes across the United States.

As the discussion proceeded, David would use a familiar word, and the Krohner representative would use a euphemism for that word.

(If anyone has the details on which script this was please let me know and I will update this article and give you credit for the information. )

This brings me to the point that we now use the term, "death-care industry" to encompass a whole range of activities relating to the death (should I write 'passing'?) of an individual. Has the language become too sanitized? Has the industry become too commercialized?

If anyone has a list of words that are used in the death-care industry, please pass it along to me for future publication.

For example:

Word:..........Euphemism:

Died............ Passed away

The Troll love ya'll.

The Granite Troll receives his e-mail through Burton@USAMonuments.com.