The Granite Troll

Think Good Thoughts

2008-06-10T16:30:00.001-07:00

"Think Good Thoughts" is one of the many positive thinking signs I have around my home. This one is on my fence to remind me of the importance of positive thinking.

If you want to improve your life, I know of no method that is more effective than to just "think good thoughts," along with hard work, of course.

If your spirits are down, think good thoughts. Try it!

Burton Fletcher

http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.usamonuments.com/

http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.floridasigma.com/

Burton Fletcher Receives Order of The Lion Honor From Sigma Alpha Epsilon

2008-05-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Burton Fletcher, a member of the Pensacola Area Alumni Association, http://www.pensacolasae.com/ supporting the Florida Sigma Chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity, bestowed Valdosta, Georgia attorney Burton Fletcher, the owner of Georgia Loan Closers.com, the distinguished “Order of The Lion” designation “for recognition of continued leadership, dedication and loyal service to the Fraternity.”

Fletcher is a long-time supporter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity. He was initiated into the fraternity at the University of West Florida in 1974, graduated with a B.S. degree in Marketing in 1975, an MBA in 1976, and later received his Juris Doctorate with Honors from Western State University College of Law in 1980.

Fletcher has served in numerous leadership positions, including president of the fraternity and the board of directors of the House Corporation. The Order of the Lion Award is a prestigious honor for exceptional service to the fraternity.
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Family History Questionnaire

2008-04-12T13:03:00.001-07:00

Family History Questionnaire, Family History, Family History Plaques, Family, Genealogy

We have a wonderful Family History Questionnaire on www.ValdostaMemorials.com at http://www.valdostamemorials.com/family_history_questionnaire.htm.

Burton Fletcher

3900 Saturdays

2008-04-12T09:11:00.000-07:00

The following story should touch your heart and remind you of the value of time, friendships, communication, setting priorities on what is really important and focusing on what is really important in life.

Burton Fletcher

"The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable. "

"A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time."

"Let me tell you about it: I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles."

"I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say "Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's “dance recital" he continued;"Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities."

And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles." "You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.

"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part."

"It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays."

"I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had."

"I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. "

"I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear." "Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away."

"I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the important things in life. There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little mo re time."

"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"

"You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter. Instead, I went u pstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "

"C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile. "

"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles. A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friend.And so, as one smart bear once said..."If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." - Winnie the Pooh."

Pass this on to all of your FRIENDS, even if it means sending it to the person that sent it to you.

And if you receive this e-mail many times from many different people, it only means that you have many FRIENDS. And if you get it but once, do not be discouraged for you will know that you have at least one good friend...

And that would be ME.

PS: I thank the unknown author who shared this with others. Bless him or her!

Burton Fletcher
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/family_history_questionnaire.htm

Authorized Dealer of Music of the Spheres Windchimes

2008-04-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

We are dealers of Music of the Spheres Windchimes. http://www.musicofspheres.com/chimesizes.html.

Let us help you save money with your purchase.

Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Stubborness and the Pyrrhic Victory

2008-03-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

When I was a young boy, my mother said, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”

Though this phrase is now probably a cliché, it does express an important view about how one deals with others and situations in life.

I strive to not be stubborn as I usually harm myself in such situations. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutting_off_the_nose_to_spite_the_face.

Also see Pyrrhic Victory: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrrhic_victory

stub·born (stùb¹ern) adjective
stub·born·er, stub·born·est

1. a. Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bullheaded. b. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute. See synonyms at OBSTINATE.
3. Difficult to treat or deal with; resistant to treatment or effort: stubborn soil; stubborn stains.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Simon and Garfunkel - Sound Of Silence lyrics

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash ofa neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs
that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
"But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

When I was in college, I greatly enjoyed listening to the music of Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel.

Mrs. Robinson was one of my favorite songs as was the Sounds of Silence. http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGLJ_enUS224US224&q=Simon+and+Garfunkel; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_and_Garfunkel

Now, these two had a contentious relationship that harmed both of their careers. But for their communication problems or "artistic differences" they would certainly have achieved even greater success.

One might ask, “What might have been?” if it were not for the stubborn conflicts in their relationship.

Conflict in my parents’ marriage resulted in a cessation of their climb up the hill and I will never forget how obvious it was to watch the duo harm their empire building by conflict. Though they remained married and their marriage survived those years, the conflict generated by a lack of trust and stubbornness greatly limited the previously dynamic financial fortunes of the couple.

A couple must pull in the same direction if they are going to be successful. As anyone can recognize, there are different degrees of success and more is achieved by pulling together than will ever be accomplished by a struggle for power, dominance, vindictiveness or stubbornness.

"The Zax"

The second story in this Dr Seuss book is about two Zax that are terribly stubborn and refuse to move so the other may pass. Their stubbornness keeps them stuck in the same place, and as it does, the world goes on around them and without them.

This story is very short, but lends itself to a long life-lesson. Stubbornness can keep us stuck in the same place away from God's will. When we refuse to change or turn from our own way, we will become what the Bible calls "unrepentant." When we are stuck in this place, we are no good to anyone, even ourselves.

Proverbs 14: 12 "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."

Jonah was like this. God had a special opportunity for Jonah, but Jonah was stubborn and refused to do what God had call him to do. If God had not sent a storm into Jonah's life and then a great fish to save him from drowning, Jonah would have been stuck in his stubbornness and missed out on God's plan for his life. For more about Jonah, look in the book of Jonah in the Bible.

We also can become unmoving in our willingness to forgive others. This too can cause us to get "stuck."

Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
God's Word is very clear that we are not to hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness.” (Emphasis added.)

Source: http://www.creativebiblestudy.com/Dr-Seuss-books.html

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/

Success Quotes

2008-03-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

#1 Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. Dale Carnegie

#2 You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong. Warren Buffett

#3 A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. Bob Dylan

#4 Actually, I'm an overnight success. But it took twenty years. Monty Hall

#5 Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. Sir Winston Churchill

#6 I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. General George S. Patton

#7 Eighty percent of success is showing up. Woody Allen

#8 I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby

#9 You will find the key to success under the alarm clock. Benjamin Franklin

#10 It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final. Roger Babson

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

You Are My Friend...

2008-03-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

READ THIS!!!! And then reread it. Especially the last part...

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn't hungry.

The pain of losing my husband of 57 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories. He often came with me and almost every time he'd pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to.

I'd always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands. He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since he had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how he had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large package of T-bones, dropped them in her basket.. hesitated, and then put them back.

She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me watching her and she smiled. "My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don't know." I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. "My husband passed away eight days ago," I told her.

Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. "Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together." She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away. I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products.

There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice cream cone.

I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen.

I would swear a soft halo encircled her blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine.As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes.

"These are for you," she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. "When you go through the line, they will know these are pai d for. "

She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she'd done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my vision.

I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn't alone.

Oh, you haven't forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

(Please read all of this, it is really nice)

This is a simple request. If you appreciate life, send this to your friends.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings. Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possib le. Thank you, Lord , that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising. Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and my children are so loud. Thank you, Lord, for my family.

There are many who are lonely. Even though our breakfast table never looks like the picture in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced.

Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job. Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest.

Thank you, Lord, for life. Pass this on to the friends you know. It might help a bit to make this world a better place to live, right?

A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift.

A friend is someone to treasure.

For friendship is a gift.

A friend is someone who fills our lives with Beauty, Joy and Grace and makes the world we live in a better and happier place.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND!

Bless you and yours.

Now send this to every friend you have!

Author Unknown, but received in greatful appreciation. Burton Fletcher

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Questions And Answers About Everyday Topics

2008-03-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

Answers are below.

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather it's from being indoors a lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long whe n straightened.

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

19 John Travolta turned down the starring roles in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and 'Tootsie.'

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

================= They are all TRUE ...

Now go back and think about #16!!!

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Free Family History Questionnaire Posted For Recording Family History....

Natural Highs

2008-03-02T20:43:00.000-08:00

Natural Highs

Please make sure you forward this back to me. You'll see why at the end. Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end of #44.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket .
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

**The original source is unknown. I received this from a friend in an email. Thank you dear friend!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Old Age Is A Gift

2008-02-28T13:58:00.000-08:00

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!

FRIENDS FOREVER!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Job Application

2008-02-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to ***-**** in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny... .

NAME: ******* *** (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS ?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE ....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOURKNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Little Known Naval History

2008-02-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

I received the following tidbit in an email today. Great stuff about our sea-going warriors! Semper Fidelis!

The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers!).

However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum." Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland.

Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.

The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky, and 38,600 gallons of water.

GO NAVY!!!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

9 Words Women Use

2008-02-26T12:42:00.000-08:00

Generally speaking, we MEN are not as skilled at picking up verbal cues or communicating as women. Here are 9 words that women use to communicate their feelings.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do It.

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint; just say you're welcome. I want to add in a clause here: This is true unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" in this case, for that will bring on a "whatever".

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F*cK YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

AC-130 Gunship On Display In Iraq

2008-02-26T12:36:00.000-08:00

The following URL may be disturbing to those who are sensitive. It shows the power of our military to hunt down and kill our enemy.

It is an amazing display of night scenes using the AC-130 gunship and our amazing military might. The scenes are from the sky and not close up, but do show how the enemy is hunted and destroyed. It shows an AC-130 gunship mission and how we provide support to our troops in the field. Semper Fidelis!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQhjaCgAS80&feature=related

Mental Feng Shui

2007-04-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

I received the following message from a friend.

"This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. There's some mighty fine advice in these words.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all
you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Humor: The Elaborate Stone!

2007-01-29T10:56:00.000-08:00

Joe's will provided $ 30,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

"How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $ 30,000?"

Helen answered. "The funeral was $ 6,500. I donated $ 500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $ 500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?

"Two and a half carats."

Ten Suggestions for Getting Along Better with People

2007-01-28T16:16:00.001-08:00

I read this list on the Internet and I thought it was worthy of passing along. I hope it causes you to pause and think about your actions.

Ten Suggestions for Getting Along Better with People:

1. Guard your tongue. Say less than you think.

2. Make promises sparingly. Keep them faithfully.

3. Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind word.

4. Be interested in others, their pursuits, work, families.

5. Be cheerful. Don't dwell on minor aches and small disappointments.

6. Keep an open mind. Discuss but don't argue. Disagree without being disagreeable.

7. Discourage gossip. It's destructive.

8. Be careful of others' feelings.

9. Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you. Live so that nobody will believe them.

10. Don't be anxious about getting credit. Just do your best and be patient.

Here are a couple of other thoughts.

When weighing the fault of others, be careful not to put your thumb on the scale. Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish one's growth without destroying one's roots.

Mark Twain once said "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Striving For A Complaint Free Life Is Admirable

2007-01-28T11:42:00.000-08:00

I read an online article on January 27, 2007, published by the Los Angeles Times, titled "Quit your whining, if you can."

This lead me to think about the author's discussion relating to a "complaint-free life." Too many folks harp on situations they cannot control and are negative instead of cheerful. Some folks are so engrained in tearing down others that they make their own lives miserable. Can you quit grumbling?

As the article suggests, whining is an addictive behavior for many folks. We have much to be greatful for and we should seek to focus on building relationships in a manner suggested by the article.

The article's author, Stephanie Simon, wrote, "I had resolved to quit grumbling after reading about a challenge presented to the congregation of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Mo. The Rev. Will Bowen — fed up with folks whining about his choice of worship music — asked his flock of 250 to refrain from complaining, criticizing and gossiping for three weeks.Bowen, 47, is a big fan of self-help programs."

We have all known folks who were addicted to "complaining, criticizing and gossiping" when success is much more likely through positive than negative thinking.

"A few years back, he and his wife erased more than $40,000 in debt by following the financial makeover plan advocated by syndicated radio host Dave Ramsey. Lately, Bowen's been hooked on the writings of a fellow Unity minister, Edwene Gaines, who promises prosperity through positive thinking. Gaines proposed the concept of a complaint-free church in her book 'The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance.'"

Then Bowen came up with a gimmick to make it stick. A former radio-station manager and phonebook ad salesman — he turned to ministry four years ago — Bowen delights in giveaways. Every few weeks, he interrupts his service by distributing small gifts: picture frames, perhaps, or candles or bookmarks. "Doodad Sunday," he calls it.

For the no-complaint sermon last summer, he handed out purple rubber bracelets stamped with the word SPIRIT. (They were intended for school pep rallies, but Bowen figured "spirit" could also signify the spirit of change.)

Bowen told his congregants that they were to switch the bracelet to their other wrist every time they griped or sniped.

Their goal: 21 consecutive days without moving the bracelet. Bowen used a quote from writer Maya Angelou as the campaign slogan: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

There are different levels of frustratons in our lives from imagined to real and trivial to important. If we allow the insignificant frustrations to dominate our lives, we will just increase our own stress levels.

With the purple bracelet as his guide, Rennack learned to stay serene in the face of setbacks, to listen more and mouth off less. It took him three months, but he made it to 21 days, earning a "Certificate of Happiness" and the chance to hang his well-worn purple bracelet on a plastic tree in the church lobby. So far, 18 members of the congregation have met the challenge.

Many more are still working at it. I slipped up time and again in the early going. I criticized my oldest daughter for (of all things) singing happily at the breakfast table, and dismissed a sculpture at the Denver Art Museum with a disdainful: "That's so ugly!"

Even when I lapsed, I noticed my grumbles were muted.I also noticed that my family was not taking my success well. I was chirpy (and, worse yet, smug about my good cheer) until something irritated me.

Then, I sulked. Instead of coming right out with a critique, I'd give everyone the silent treatment.Our family discussions had always been loving, but spiked with sarcasm, teasing and good-natured grumbling. Now I was censoring every word, and our easy give-and-take suffered.

People deal with life in different ways," psychologist Barbara Held reassured me.

A professor at Bowdoin College in Maine, Held resents what she calls "the tyranny of the positive." In her book "Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative Complaining," she urges Americans to drop the pretense that everything is always rosy."Maybe I should start selling 'It's OK to complain' bracelets," she said.

She'd probably sell a bundle. The urge to complain is so universal, it's recently been elevated to an art. Under the coordination of two Helsinki artists, citizens in several cities have created "Complaints Choirs" to sing aloud their grievances about unfaithful lovers, reeking buses, even drunken plumbers.

Bowen dreams of countering such negativity with an army of positive thinkers.He has spent $10,000 in church funds (not that the board would think of complaining) to give away about 70,000 purple bracelets, taking requests through his website, http://www.thecomplaintfreechurch.org/ .

Soldiers in Iraq have put in orders. So have pastors, teachers, drug counselors, Boy Scout leaders. (Perhaps not grasping the concept, one minister returned his batch — with a complaint about the quality.)

But that very moment, Robin Stanley headed her way, carrying an overlooked stack of mailing labels. "We got more," said Stanley, 53.Martin took a deep breath."Yea!" she said, attempting a chipper tone.Bowen came over to check on them. "I'm tired," Stanley told him, adding: "That's not a complaint. Just a statement of fact. I didn't realize what a production this was."Listening, I realized that I may have been taking the complaint-free life too literally.

It wasn't reasonable to suppress every remark or tone of voice that could be construed as a complaint. Even Bowen and his wife stretched the rules a bit. When someone irritated them, they'd remark, "I bet he sure can whistle."

It was an inside joke, a way of saying that even the most aggravating souls have a ray of good in them. It was also, perhaps, a way to vent in code."Everything comes down to the energy you put into it," Bowen said. "If I say calmly, 'I smashed my finger last week and it still hurts,' that's a statement of fact. But if I'm whining, 'Oooh, I hurt my finger! It hurts so bad!' then that's complaining…. And 99% of it is not beneficial."Back home after visiting the church, I put aside my purple bracelet. But I resolved to keep watching my words.When the fourth big storm in a month dumped eight more inches of snow on our neighborhood, I made a point of not starting every conversation with a grumpy "Can you believe this weather?"

Instead, I remarked on the beauty of the white-capped Rockies.I think it gave my neighbors a lift. How could it not? The mountains truly are stunning.Then again, the view only goes so far when you're driving the kids to school on roads rutted with hard-packed snow and ice. It would be great if the county could send a plow. That's not a complaint. Just a statement of fact.

Make A Difference, Not A Mess!

2007-01-27T15:08:00.000-08:00

I received an email from a gentleman with the thought, "Make a difference, not a mess!"

It would be great if everyone were to follow this principle. Think about your opportunity to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

Unfortunately, too many people make a mess for themselves and others that will need to be cleaned up. It is all too common that folks who make messes leave them for other people to clean up.

Decades ago, I learned that people would rather point fingers at others without taking responsibility for their own actions. Too many people feel it is better to deny responsibility and shift the blame, than to be accountable for their own actions.

What have you done recently to make a difference! Think about making positive changes in your life and the lives of others. Just do it! After all, it is the right thing to do!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

WD-40

2007-01-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

WD-40
Water Displacement #40.

Interesting. . . . . Water Displacement #40.

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and de-greaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.

The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.

The workers were so pleased with the product, they began smuggling (also known as "shrinkage" or "stealing") it out to use at home. The executives decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest, as they say, is history.

It is a carefully guarded recipe known only to four people. Only one of them is the "brew master." There are about 2.5 million gallons of the stuff manufactured each year. It gets its distinctive smell from a fragrance that is added to the brew. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

When you read the "shower door" part, try it It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle!

Then try it on your stovetop... Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

Here are some of the uses: Protects silver from tarnishing. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery. Keeps flies off cows.

Restores and cleans chalkboards.

Removes lipstick stains.

Loosens stubborn zippers.

Untangles jewelry chains.

Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.

Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.

Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.

Removes tomato stains from clothing.

Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.

Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.

Keeps scissors working smoothly.

Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.

Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.

Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.

Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.

Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.

Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.

Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.

Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.

Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.

Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.

Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.

Removes splattered grease on stove.

Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.

Lubricates prosthetic limbs.

Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).

Removes all traces of duct tape.

Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.

Florida's favorite use is: "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."

The favorite use in the state of New York--WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.

WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.

Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!

If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start. ****** It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor!

Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL

Humor: Useless Facts

2007-01-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, my friend sent these to me and though they are called "Useless Facts," I think they are pretty interesting. I do not know what number 1 was, but I'm also afraid to ask. Here goes!

2. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

3. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

4. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.

5. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

6. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.

7. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.

8. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected after the original 7-ounce containers and 'UP' for the direction of the bubbles.

9. 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie. .

10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

11. 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

12. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly.

13. Reindeer like to eat bananas.

14. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.

15. The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."

16. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

17. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

18. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II Killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

19. More people are killed annually by donkeys than airplane crashes.

20. A 'jiffy' is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

Bad Bosses I Have Known....

2007-01-20T14:11:00.000-08:00

What is the worst boss you have ever had? I have had several bad bosses and from time to time I have been a less than perfect boss too. Over the years, I learned how to be a very good but sometimes imperfect boss.

I worked for a boss once who would look at his watch when he saw me arrive to work and then he would look up at me. He was so enemy centered that the ultimately was forced out of a high-paying position when his life fragmented.

He could talk the talk, but I'll be damned if he could walk the walk. He was forced out of his employment due to a wide variety of abuses.

This man wore a racial chip on his shoulder. He saw all criticism as racial bias and he acted in often bizarre ways.

When meetings were run, long periods of time would be spent just arguing over the minutes of the previous meeting as the minutes were often manipulated to distort the reality of the process of the management style of this individual.

He was mean and malicious, wasting government resources to constantly spy on his enemies. Without fail, this bad boss sent his secretary by my office 5 minutes before my scheduled departure to make certain I was in my office.

Bad bosses should not hire individuals for the government payroll with whom they are having an affair. A big bussomed woman may make a man happy, but she shouldn't make him stupid.

You too have probably had a bad boss; however, it is my hope that your experiences were less wayward than my own observations.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Life Is More Like A Jar of Jalapenos Than A Box Of Chocolates!

2007-01-18T20:11:00.000-08:00

I'm always receiving fun and often crazy email, sometimes with a message worth thinking about and passing on to others.

Remarks made with humor can often convey more meaning than the same dialog without spice!

The Granite Troll, whom I admire, can often say the wildest things that I would never say!

I enjoyed Forest Gump's wisdom and I think he had a point of view worth considering. The title of this article is another point of view equally worth sharing.

Burton Fletcher

www.USAMonuments.com

Burton@USAMonuments.com

Communication: The Written Apology

2007-01-17T14:15:00.000-08:00

I am certain that in the course of communications I have irritated more than my share of folks in this world. For those whom I have caused offense, please accept my apology.

Saying you are sorry for an action can be catharthic for all involved. It is easy to be misunderstood in face-to-face communications, and even more so during written communications.

I read an email today that I think is humorous, good natured and progressive.

"Thanks, Guy. Point well taken. The "Rosanna Dana" comment at the end of my original note applied in large part, because, in large part, we were all in agreement. As I wrote Tony privately, my misunderstanding of his original note led to the string of emails where folks who actually agree seem to think they don't. My fault. Tony is great. You're handsome. Jim is brilliant. Jay is wonderful. My dog is not fat, just big boned. Group hug. Separate showers."

What a terrific message to express sorrow at causing offense, but doing so in a way that is humorous and will leave positive feelings with all on the board. I admire the ability to write this way. Perhaps all of us can learn from this person's apology.

Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com
www.USAMonuments.com

Align Your Perception To Your Reality Through Proactive Feedback

2007-01-17T06:33:00.000-08:00

As a former educator, I worked for a not so gentle person who was constantly spouting, "your perception is your reality."

Unfortunately, beyond the phrase, which he used almost as a mantra, he never took the time to explain what he meant by his words.

In the perception of a great many of his subordinates, he was a person who was incompetent and his performance was so poor that he was ultimately forced out of a high-paying position.

I will share my thoughts on the subject of perception and reality.

What you perceive to be true is what is real for you; but, what is perceived may not be real beyond your own mind.

Your perception may be real for you, but your reality may not be real beyond your own perception.

I have often known people whose perception did not match reality as I knew it. I think it is important for everyone to ask, "Does my perception match reality?" Many people I have known have had a distorted perception of the world and I too have been guilty of a misaligned perception from time to time.

Instead of being passive about our perception, we need to actively seek feedback that will help us to align our perception to an accurate reality, as this will facilitate the successes in our personal and professional life.

As an educator, I observed that feedback was often threatening to faculty and administrators alike. Whether you like it or not, people are constantly evaluating others, including you and me.

Thus, you might as well invite feedback so you can adjust your perceptions to your reality and so you can improve your performance.

As a professor, I had students evaluate my performance anonymously as often as weekly. With this information, my perception and my reality could be better harmonized.

Honest feedback must be invited, interpreted and used in both personal and professional settings. At the same time, we must be alert to the potential for smoke and mirrors in both the giving and the receiving of feedback.

Feedback can be useful to blow away the smoke to better see the image in the mirror. It is important that you understand and own your own personal and professional performance plan. "To thine own self be true," or, in the vernacular of the street, "Do not bullshit thyself!"

Feedback in the performance of individuals, teams and organizations is critical to proactive management. But, more than just receiving data, the data must be analyzed, interpreted and acted upon to present real value as information.

Fundamental to any successful feedback plan is a desire to shift the paradigm from being evaluated to seeking constructive feedback. The value is that for most people, being evaluated is a negative experience; however, when you seek feedback, you are in control, proactive and in charge to positively shape your perception to match a more accurate reality.

What you perceive to be true is what is real for you; however, far too many people operate within a closed reality sphere that is inacurrate due to defective perceptions of themselves and others. A willingness to be open to criticism is fundamental to self improvement.

I performed an Internet search and found several articles worthy of sharing. See, http://www.godchannel.com/reality.html; and The Reality-Based Community, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_based_community. So, how accurate is your perception today? How would you interpret the expession that your perception is your reality?

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Folk Wisdom Before Dale Carnegie

2007-01-16T09:52:00.000-08:00

Here's a quote worth remembering, right up there with The Golden Rule and probably expressed before Dale Carnegie ever thought of writing a book.

"As we all know, it's easy to bristle and argue, but you will usually catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

Your thoughts or wisdom?

Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com
www.USAMonuments.com

New Chapter Found For Book of Genesis Regarding Pets

2007-01-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, " I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.And Cat would not obey them.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a hoot one way or the other.

Author Unknown, But He or She Was Smart As Hell!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Thought For The Day Regarding Time

2007-01-16T08:33:00.000-08:00

I read the following on the email of a colleague this morning. I think it says a lot!

"If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?"

What are your thoughts?

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

We Need More Unity In Our Industry....

2007-01-16T05:48:00.000-08:00

I read a post on another website, that read like this: "How many are attending the convention? I am not, and have heard attendance will be lower than usuall. I wonder why? We need more unity in our industry."

Yes, we do need more unity in our industry. I think it is worth analysis that the monument industry is seriously fragmented.

There are two major groups of monument builders: those who belong to the Monument Builders of North America, and those who do not belong to MBNA.

Of course there are those who are diehard members and another group who are only lukewarm members. The same is true for those who do not belong to MBNA. There is one group who are adamant they will never be members again, and many others who are not members but who may we willing to join if approached in the right way.

There is a significant group of monument builders who refuse to join MBNA and the organization has done an ineffective job at recruiting and managing relationships with monument builders. I hope this can someday change for the sake of both MBNA as an organization and for the industry as a whole.

What are your thoughts?

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Thoughts On Taxes! Yes, Taxes, Taxes, Taxes!

2007-01-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

What Happened?

At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,Tax his bed,Tax the table At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,Tax his mule,Teach him taxes Are the rule.

Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work,Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if heTries to think.

Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, thenTax his tears.

Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass

Tax all he hasThen let him know That you won't be done Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,Then tax him some more,Tax him till He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,Tax his grave,Tax the sod in Which he's laid.

Put these wordsupon his tomb,"Taxes drove meto my doom..."

When he's gone,Do not relax,Its time to applyThe inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable TaxBuilding Permit TaxCDL license TaxCigarette TaxCorporate Income TaxDog License TaxFederal Income TaxFederal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License TaxFood License Tax, Fuel permit tax Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon) Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Interest expense Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Taxes Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service charge taxes Social Security Tax Road usage taxes Sales Tax Recreational Vehicle Tax School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)Telephone federal excise tax Telephone federal universal service fee tax Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax Telephone state and local tax Telephone usage charge tax Utility TaxesVehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft registration TaxWell Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax

COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? (I know, we stuck our noses in everyone else's business.) And now I have to "press 1" for English. I hope this goes around the world 10 times or more!

Will Your Family Cemetery Be Maintained Throughout Eternity?

2007-01-15T06:07:00.000-08:00

For anyone who has been involved in genealogy or the death-care industry for very long, you know that there is a wide-range of attention paid to cemeteries. Sooner or later, everyone is going to die, and usually it is an afterthought that someone thinks about the preservation of a family cemetery, so I ask the question, "Will your cemetery be maintained throughout eternity?"

Some cemeteries are beautifully maintained. See, http://www.valdostamemorials.com/PonteVedra.asp for photos of the Ponte Vedra Cemetery in Ponte Vedra, Florida.

Other cemeteries have been neglected for short or long periods, with deterioration ranging from dense overgrowth to deteriorating foundations that have resulted in the toppling of monuments.

We believe it is the responsibility of everyone in the death-care industry to give back to the community by serving as advocates for cemetery maintenance.

Community Advocate: Lobby your town councils to maintain cemeteries as parks that memorialize the community heritage.

Trust Funds: I encourage the endowment of trust funds for family memorial and cemetery preservation.

Volunteer: I encourage everyone to volunteer to cemetery preservation. The monument industry has the expertise and equipment to make improvements beyond the capacity of lay people.

Work With Others: Boy Scouts and other community organizations will frequently volunteer to participate in community service projects. With photos and a press release, this is an excellent opportunity for publicity in community newspapers.

If you have other ideas or success stories, please share them with me, and I will post them here. I thank you for your contributions to cemetery and memorial preservation.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

MORE "IDIOT AWARDS"

2007-01-14T11:12:00.000-08:00

MORE "IDIOT AWARDS"

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a
new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by
cars out here! I don't think this is a good
place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had
iceberg. He was a Chef?Yep...From Kansas City!

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport,
checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything
in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled
knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner
buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what
the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?" She was a probation
officer in Wichita, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for
an old and dear coworker. She was leaving
the company due to "downsizing." Our manager
commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should
do this more often." Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch
at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who
plugged her power strip back into itself and for
the sake of her own life, couldn't understand
why her system would not turn on. A deputy
with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I
arrived at an automobile dealership to pick
up our car, we were told the keys had been
locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "its open!" His
reply, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

STAY ALERT! They walk among us ... And they REPRODUCE!

Humor: Cajun Hearing Problem

2007-01-13T06:26:00.000-08:00

During a revival the last week in November in Cheneyville, a little town between Bunkie and Alexandria on Highway 71, an evangelist was bringing the service to an end.

As people were standing in line waiting to tell him their personal problems, he asked each individual what they really needed.

When T-Coon was asked, he replied, "Mais, Ah want you to pray dat mah hearing gonna be real good.

Dat's all Ah ask - dat mah hearing gonna turn out all right."

The evangelist took his finger, put it in T-Coon's ear, raised his other hand in the air and looked up to start his prayer of healing.

Noticing that the expression changed on T-Coon's face, he evangelist - thinking a miracle had already happened - asked, "Mister, how's your hearing?"

T-Coon looked around at the curious onlookers and said, "Mais, Ah don't know, it ain't till next Tuesday in Opelousas!"

What Are Your Core Values?

2007-01-11T19:11:00.001-08:00

An Internet message caught my attention when I read that an Air Force staff sergeant who was photographed nude for a February 2007 Playboy magazine spread has been suspended while the military investigates her behavior in posing semi-nude and nude for Playboy magazine.

The Air Force position according to the Associated Press was that "this staff sergeant's alleged action does not meet the high standards we expect of our airmen, nor does it comply with the Air Force's core values of integrity, service before self, and excellence in all we do."

The staff sergeant basically takes the position that appearing nude while in uniform is acceptable behavior. I'll vote for the Air Force on this one! This staff sergeant trains airmen at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas.

Over the years, I have followed Playboy as an afficionado of sorts, and I can recall several previous incidents where beautiful women posed for Playboy and were then relieved of their duties. Hmmmmmmm.

I'm no prude, but this seems like loose-cannon type behavior to me. I saw an interview of this woman and she explained that if Playboy could be purchased in the Post Exchange, she should be allowed to pose nude. It will be interesting to see how this incident plays out.

In the meantime, can someone please email me photos of this woman's pictures in Playboy so I can view them as part of my research! The pictures will tell me all I need to know and I won't need to read the corresponding article as a picture is worth a 1000 words!

The question I pose to the men and women of the death-care industry is to ask, what are the core values for this industry; and, what are your core values?

I would appreciate reading your responses. Email me at Burton@USAMonuments.com and I will post select responses here.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

MBNA, Consumer Advocacy & Carolyn Jacobi

2007-01-11T11:34:00.000-08:00

Every month, the Monument Builders of North America publishes a glossy trade magazine with a "Consumer Advocacy Update" from Carolyn Jacobi.

Ms. Jacobi's writes in the conclusion of her column:

"If this movement fails, it is because you elected to let it fail. Failure is an event and a person. There are many reasons for failures. Some of them are a lack of faith and motivation, limited self-image, complacency, insincerity, failure to plan and follow the plan, and trying to function as an individual rather than a part of a team."

With one pronouncement, Ms. Jacobi has expounded a lot of thoughts for MBNA's membership to reflect upon. MBNA, like most organizations, is often its own worst enemy, alienating now former members who decided to spend their money elsewhere.

Personally, I believe monument builders need an effective national trade association, and MBNA is, like-it-or-not, effectively that association.

MBNA needs to select folks as officers and district trustees who have a background of leadership and major accomplishments who actually know how to produce results if it wants to expand its membership and influence on a national scale.

Do I want to see the monument industry grow and prosper? Of course I do. MBNA has a lot of politics and it is ineffective in ways that it could be effective. For the sake of the industry, it needs to do more on the national and state levels to improve relationships with monument builders.

I invite you to reread Carolyn Jacobi's remarks and then think about your own contributions to the monument industry.

"If this movement fails, it is because you elected to let it fail. Failure is an event and a person. There are many reasons for failures. Some of them are a lack of faith and motivation, limited self-image, complacency, insincerity, failure to plan and follow the plan, and trying to function as an individual rather than a part of a team."

I encourage you to join MBNA and other trade associations, and to contribute to the monument industry in whatever way you can.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Do You Know How To Sell?

2007-01-11T09:33:00.000-08:00

I received flattering feedback today from a person who I will not identify by name, lest he become a victim of my fan club.

"You certainly put ABC Corporation (name deleted) to shame (Kudos To You) - maybe they should take some lessons on website design and most importantly, how to run and manage their Retail Division.

Poor quality of workmanship, certain personnel in sales do not have a clue of product or how to sell. Worst run company I have dealt with and I would NEVER recommend them to families in need."

I hope my clients would talk better of me and my company and I believe most would recommend my company in a time of need.

Flattery, like criticism, should be accepted with caution, so I will not dwell on the kind remarks, except as a foundation to my point, do you and your employees know how to sell? Are you certain of this? Have you spent time educating yourself and your staff on how to sell your products?

I taught Salesmanship during the fall semester of 1980 for El Camino College in Torrance, California. Many years later, I would teach Marketing for one or more colleges and before my academic career was over, I had taught more than 10,000 people at 9 colleges and 4 universities. Though I have a degree in marketing and advanced coursework in the field, I would not claim to be an advanced expert in either subject.

I do know a few things about sales and marketing however that I have learned over a long career in business and education.

One thing is to listen to your customer or client. Really listen to your customer with the goal that you will understand the needs of your customer.

I also believe it is important to educate your customer as to a range of options that are available. If you are not an expert yourself on the options available, how will you ever educate your client?
The industry has been too focused on carving granite and inadequately focused on tell the life story. My opinion is based upon my observations in numerous cemeteries and conversations I have had with monument builders.

Price your products and sell the value, not the price.

Talk about the value and you will be engaged in non-price competition.

Focus on the price and you will be engaged in price competition.

Don't be afraid to ask for the order either!

Though I sometimes criticize monument builders as a group, I believe they are mostly decent, honorable and well-intentioned people. Sure, there are jerks in the lot, but that is just typical human behavior for every group of individuals. Basically, most monument builders desire to serve honorably, feed their families, help others and provide a quality service for their customers or clients.

If you are a monument builder, learn how to sell, and teach your employees too, and you will go farther!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

PS: An excellent article on salesmanship was brought to my attention by a Yahoo member who uses the moniker "elberreton." Thank you Mr. Elberreton. http://www.coldspringgranite.com/pr/YBNews21.html

If Not Death-Care Industry, What Term Would You Use?

2007-01-11T08:33:00.000-08:00

I commence this post with the question, "If not 'death-care industry', what term would you use?"

I recall a segment (Season 2, Episode 15, I believe) on "Six-Feet Under" a terrific program produced by HBO Entertainment, that had a discussion between Nate Fisher and the evil corporate representative from Kroehner, a fictitiously named company, typical of the large corporations that are gobbling up funeral homes across the United States.

As the discussion proceeded, David would use a familiar word, and the Krohner representative would use a euphemism for that word.

(If anyone has the details on which script this was please let me know and I will update this article and give you credit for the information. )

This brings me to the point that we now use the term, "death-care industry" to encompass a whole range of activities relating to the death (should I write 'passing'?) of an individual. Has the language become too sanitized? Has the industry become too commercialized?

If anyone has a list of words that are used in the death-care industry, please pass it along to me for future publication.

For example:

Word:..........Euphemism:

Died............ Passed away

The Troll love ya'll.

The Granite Troll receives his e-mail through Burton@USAMonuments.com.

The Granite Troll

2007-01-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

Folks want to know more and more about the Granite Troll. Who is he? What does he look like?

Is he good looking like funeral home directors, or does he look no better than average like the best looking monument builders?

In this classified report, we provide an actual photo of The Granite Troll. Isn't he pretty!

Please keep this information under wraps as this information is provided in secret.

Regards,

The Granite Troll

Are Funeral Directors Just Better Looking Than Monument Builders?

2007-01-11T04:18:00.000-08:00

The question has been asked whether funeral directors are just more handsome than monument builders and whether this is partly to explain why more monuments are sold by funeral homes than monument companies.

What's your take on this unscientific opinion poll?

Email your opinions to Burton@USAMonuments.com and I'll post the best replies here. Don't wait! And, while you are writing, please tell me if you were born ugly, and whether you have been hindered by your unattractiveness in your competiton with funeral homes.

Could The Monument Industry Survive Without Giving Kickbacks

2007-01-10T16:18:00.000-08:00

I start this post with the question, "Could the monument industry survive without giving kickbacks to funeral homes?"

Before you answer, "Yes, of course it could," you need to give thought to the hush-hush relationships that exist as bagmen from the monument industry make their regular calls on funeral homes giving payola for referrals.

What are your thoughts about this practice? Is this "all is fair in love, war and business," or an unacceptable practice based upon greed?

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Emotional Quotient: Are Funeral Homes Naturally More Effective At Monument Sales?

2007-01-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to compare the emotional quotient of monument builders, compared to that of funeral directors, and whether these differences are having a negative impact on the effectiveness of the monument industry as a whole?

Are monument builders generally less educated, and consequently, less effective at oral and written communication skills compared to their colleagues in funeral homes?

Is this a good thing, or a bad thing for the death-care industry, or for the consumer?

If consumers had confidence in monument builders, as an industry, wouldn't they be the first point of contact for a monument?

Perhaps it is because of these superior communication skills that funeral homes sell more monuments than monument dealers, except for those monument dealers paying kickbacks and working hand in glove with the funeral homes.

It is pervasive across the death-care industry that monument builders feel they must pay kickbacks to obtain business. The opposite is seemingly less true.

Even the Monument Builders of North America recognize this scheme but seems to justify the practice by stating that the kickback should be disclosed to the consumer to be ethical. Okay? I would like to see the statistics on disclosure. How about you?

Are kickbacks the vehicle by which monument builders with inferior communication skills are achieving their success?

Are funeral homes naturally more effective at monument sales because of their superior communication skills? And, can the monument industry become more effective by requiring a higher level of education to enter the field?

What are your thoughts?

Burton@USAMonuments.com
www.USAMonuments.com

Humor: Hot Off The Press

2007-01-06T20:50:00.001-08:00

Hot off the Press

· March Planned For Next August
· Blind Bishop Appointed To See
· Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -- Thief Gives Police The Slip
· L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
· Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
· Latin Course to Be Canceled--No Interest among Students, Et Al.
· Diaper Market Bottoms Out
· Stadium Air Conditioning Fails -- Fans Protest
· Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
· Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
· Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
· Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
· Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
· Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
· Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
· 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
· War Dims Hope For Peace
· Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
· Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
· Alcohol ads promote drinking.
· Official: Only rain will cure drought.
· Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men.
· Man shoots neighbor with machete.
· Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows.
· Scientists see quakes in L.A. future.
· Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold.
· Bible church's focus is the Bible.
· Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity.
· Lack of brains hinders research.
· Fish lurk in streams.
· Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks included.
· Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
· Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.
· We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
· For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
· Wanted: hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
· Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
· Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
· 3-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
· Vacation special: Have your house exterminated.
· Dinner Specials: Turkey $3.25 Chicken or Beef $2.75 Children $2.00.
· Illiterate? Write today free help.
· Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.
· Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
· Stock up and save. Limit: one.
· Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.
· For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
· Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
· Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Let's Sing Together: It's My Party

2007-01-06T07:18:00.000-08:00

I often feel that each generation is defined by the music of the generation. One of my many favorites was sung by Lesley Gore, "It's My Party." Sing along with me you crazy monument builders!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
But Judy left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Then all my records keep dancing all night
But leave me alone for a while
'Til Johnny's dancing with me
I've got no reason to smile

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Judy and Johnny just walked thru the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearing his ring

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Oh-oh-oh It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.....

Lithochrome: Use It, Or Lose It?

2007-01-05T16:17:00.000-08:00

Lithochrome is the paint that monument companies use to enhance (some might say denigrate) the memorial products we place in the cemetery. There are varying opinions on lithochrome, just as there are about everything else in the monument industry. We all know that lithochrome will fade at some point.

I like and use lithochrome; however, it should be cautiously used as it can quickly turn a stone into a gaudy mess if used improperly. Like all things, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Personally, I like the look of gold lithochrome on gray granite. Great care must be exercised when using green or reds that they do not over power the stone. I prefer subtlety when I work with stone, or should I say harmony, as less is often more.

Though I use it, black lithochrome is not usually my preferred color. Normally, I prefer diluted black, or gray lithochrome as it provides a more subtle appearance.

If the fonts are smaller than 2 inches tall I recommend lithochrome as it makes the lettering more readable. I try to avoid fonts smaller than 2 inches tall, but we do what we have to do to make the clients happy and the customer is king.

What are your experiences and opinions on the use of lithochrome?

2007-01-04T20:27:00.000-08:00